i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
