i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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