this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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