Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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