I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
