Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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