Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
