:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
