I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
