end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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