I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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