i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
