I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
