so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
