Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
