what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
