It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
