I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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