she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
This toilet bowl is my home.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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