I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
