my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
