Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
