Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
