Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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