Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
