My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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