Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
