it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
