I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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