I will die if light touches me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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