38 yer olds are good kisserssss
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
