I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
