yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
