You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
