Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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