Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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