i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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