im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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