I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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