i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
