i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
