Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
