ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
