good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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