so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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