There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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