Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
