UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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