Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
