Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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